Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
