Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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