I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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