dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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