i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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