You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
