i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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