she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
