sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
