It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
