I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
