Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
