you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
vagina is talking i cant
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
