i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize