new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I know her cup size but not her name....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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