You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
