Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
