I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
