Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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