Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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