Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
