the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
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Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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