so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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