It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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