I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
