Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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