ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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