ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
