I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
