Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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