I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
