How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i think my cat just said my name.
My ass is underappreciated
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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