Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
