I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize