Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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