So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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