I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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