No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
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At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
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Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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