8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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