they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
