Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
