do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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