he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Randomize
