Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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