Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Vodka?
Forever.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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