i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
