fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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