I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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