College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
