gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
