we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
