omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
