Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
