I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
