I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
