I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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