Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
