I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
