Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Randomize