So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
